Geography lessons
GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa; half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile soil.
Between 23 and 30, a woman is like America; well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like India; very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like France; gently aging but still warm, and a desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain; with a glorious and all conquering past.
Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Yugoslavia; lost the war and haunted by past mistakes.
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Russia; very wide, and borders are now unpatrolled.
After 70, she becomes Tibet. Wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages....only those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge visit there.
GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN
Between 1 and 70, a man is like Iraq, ruled by a dick and misled by a bush.
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Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Little Johny Jokes
TEACHER: Why are you late?
Johnny Martin: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
Johnny Martin: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go
Slow."
TEACHER: Johnny, why are you doing your maths sums on
the floor?
JOHNNY: You told me to do it without using tables!
TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
JOHNNY: "HIJKLMNO"!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
JOHNNY: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
TEACHER: Johnny, go to the map and find North America.
JOHNNY: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Johnny!
TEACHER: Johnny, name one important thing we have
today that we
didn't have ten years ago.
JOHNNY: Me!
TEACHER: Johnny, why do you always get so dirty?
JOHNNY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you
are.
JOHNNY: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
JOHNNY: Your name on this report card.
TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting
insects?
JOHNNY: Don't bite any.
TEACHER: Johnny, give me a sentence starting with "I".
JOHNNY: I is...
TEACHER: No, Johnny. Alwayss
TEACHER: Why are you late?
Johnny Martin: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
Johnny Martin: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go
Slow."
TEACHER: Johnny, why are you doing your maths sums on
the floor?
JOHNNY: You told me to do it without using tables!
TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
JOHNNY: "HIJKLMNO"!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
JOHNNY: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
TEACHER: Johnny, go to the map and find North America.
JOHNNY: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Johnny!
TEACHER: Johnny, name one important thing we have
today that we
didn't have ten years ago.
JOHNNY: Me!
TEACHER: Johnny, why do you always get so dirty?
JOHNNY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you
are.
JOHNNY: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
JOHNNY: Your name on this report card.
TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting
insects?
JOHNNY: Don't bite any.
TEACHER: Johnny, give me a sentence starting with "I".
JOHNNY: I is...
TEACHER: No, Johnny. Alwayss
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